A Christmas Horror (a children’s tale)

I tell stories to my kids. I make them up on the spot and just roll with whatever pops out of my mouth, which more often than not, is a bit on the twisted side. as a result, my children have a wicked sense of humor, and enjoy my twisted tales.

this story here, is a Christmas tradition spanning three years.


The Workshop Elves

Once upon a time, in the merry month of December, the winds were blowing and the snow was falling like a soft veil upon the land. When the sun went to bed, it too, was the time for younglings everywhere to sleep as well.

There were two of these younglings, a boy named WillyBillySillyBug and his sister, BeffyWeffy Glock-n-Spiel III. These two had been well-behaved for most of the year. But now that December had arrived, so had Christmas. And, as everybody knows, Christmas means Santa Claus and his magical, portable blackhole-holding bag of presents.

BeffyWeffy and WillyBillySillyBug unfortunately came down with a horrible sickness. The sickness of preoccupation with gifts. Temper tantrums, demands, and other nasty behavior shadowed their every word.

It was very sad.

Then one night, when the sun went to bed and the younglings had to go to sleep as well, their mommy told them a secret only parents know about Santa.

It wasn’t about how Santa prefers jerky to cookies, or how Rudolph retired, and now Santa uses kinetic energy fog lamp harnesses to light his way. No, it was a secret a bit more important.

You see, 200 years ago, the elves had a riot and were exiled from the North Pole. They thought it was unfair they only got 2 days off every year. So for 200 years, Santa has been watching children day and night, trying to catch those bad behavior. And those who act up, don’t listen, and otherwise misbehave, are used to replace the elves.

Santa uses his magical sleigh to capture the naughty children’s souls during the night when they’re sleeping. Those kids are made to make the toys for the well behaved girls and boys. And when the sun rises, Santa whisks all the kids back home.

If WillyBillySillyBug and BeffyWeffy wanted to be on the good list, then they would have to change their attitude. Santa doesn’t like receiving demands. He finds them insulting. Children who ask nicely, are more apt to receive what they want and those who make demands and throw fits.

WillyBillySillyBug and BeffyWeffy took their mothers words of wisdom to heart. They stopped making demands, they stopped yelling, and they stopped throwing fits. They accepted that with their mommy told them No about something, it was because mommy was looking at the bigger picture and helping to mold them into better people. That, and because Mommy knew what lay in store for naughty kids.

So, with WillyBillySillyBug and BeffyWeffy now educated about the truth about the workshop elves, they mended their behavior, so that they were well behaved all through the year, and Santa knew it.

And all were happy.


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