Dear 2016 Presidential Election Hopefuls: an open letter to the Conservatives regarding their exercise of religion to control the masses.

Dear Presidential Hopefuls;

I can admit it, I fear for this country. When a group of men decide that my health care doesn’t matter, I get all uppity, and well, in a letter-writing mood of which you are the recipients. Since you wish to ru(i)n the country I live in and inflict your mores and ideals upon my unwilling body, you get to hear my perspective, although I highly doubt you’ll actually pay attention. I mean, I suppose I could be like the NRA and slip you some funds and then maybe you’ll listen, but nah. At least one of us has to have ethics and we know it’s not you. (Well, except you, Bernie. I like the way you roll.)

Men, who can only carry tapeworms instead of fetuses, don’t get a first-hand experience at being pregnant; not just the morning sickness, but the whole rodeo of giving birth. Having done just that more than once, I’ll say I’m moderately experienced in childbirth; despite having medical intervention during pregnancy, birth itself didn’t go balls-to-the-walls, requiring an emergency c-section or anything of that nature.

I did almost bleed out to death, so there’s that, but that happened after the placenta disengaged from the uterine wall from a different pregnancy. Passing out sucks, by the way. Passing out, thinking, “Am I about to die?” sucks even more, especially when you’ve just given birth to a baby girl and you’ve got a toddler, too.

Boils down to, “Was having another baby the way I die today?” It’s a really unsettling thought. My life isn’t supposed to be like a Live music video.

I don’t talk often of that experience; everything happened in a blur and the memories I have are fragmented. I know the facts of what happened, but for the actual experience, well, that’s fuzzy. Blood loss does that, I hear.

In 2007, I was diagnosed with a molar pregnancy, also known as trophoblastic disease. The diagnosis was made at a Planned Parenthood center. The (not really) funny part is that I was there to have an abortion due to birth control failure. A molar pregnancy isn’t viable, and has potential to go cancerous. Planned Parenthood hooked me up with the procedure to remove the mass of tissue and pointed me in the direction of a doctor who specialized in the disease for follow up. Without Planned Parenthood, that tissue could have gone malignant– as in, while the doctor was telling me about the diagnosis, words like “chemotherapy” were mentioned.

So to me, it’s a HUGE deal when people actively try to defund a clinic that helped save my life.

It’s not the best analogy, I know, but how would you feel if legislators decided to hound the medical establishment so that kidney stones couldn’t be shrunk via Extracorporeal shock wave lithotripsy (ESWL)? That you MUST endure the pain that your diet inflicts upon your body, there is no option but to piss ’em out the natural way or deal with surgery. On your penis. Well, technically shoving things up your penis. Kinda like those trans-vaginal ultrasounds us lucky ladies get to experience.

I realize many of the GOP hopefuls are men who proudly proclaim their religious affiliation and their unhappiness at the supposed War on Christianity. Here’s the thing, though– is it a war on all sects of Christianity, or just those trying to inflict their belief structure on those who want no part in said faith? It may come as a surprise to you that not all worship Christ the same way you do; some have issues with a book that is routinely cherry-picked to bolster hatred (so while you cite Leviticus about men laying with men, the tendency to skip over other proclamations like no eating shellfish or pork; not mixing textiles [no wool trousers and leather belt] and other sundry things that are ignored, proving that the Bible isn’t something you follow, but glean from to support subjugation of other groups) and has questionable morals. For example, some may take issue with the notion that chucking stones at unruly kids is a bit extreme (but supported by the Bible) or that tossing your young daughters to a rapacious crowd is okay, if you’re doing it to save the life of a male stranger. Or that slavery is cool because it gets shit done. Whatevs, ok? If one plans on cherry picking the Bible to support their views, then they should anticipate others doing the same to discredit those views. The Bible is awesome like that.

Another thing you conservative presidential hopefuls mention is the death of traditional marriage values. Honey(s), those died looooong ago. Traditional marriage as defined by the Bible involves a man, his wives, concubines and all the servants he wanted to stick his dick into; since he was lord of them all, they had not much of a say, with wives having more status than concubines, who in turn had higher status than servants. Are you advocating for multiple wives and concubines, a polygamy lifestyle?


Time and again, ‘marriage’ has been redefined, with in recent history, interracial marriage being made legal.

Ted Cruz stated after the Marriage Equality act passed, that “These are some of the darkest days in our nation’s history.”

Excuse me? What the fuck are you smoking? People marrying people who LOVE them is the same as war? The same as thousands of lives snuffed out by planes and buildings? Excuse me sir, are you fucking high? Oh, and before I forget, Fuck You Ted Cruz. “I’m gonna kill all the terrorists because I’m a good Christian man.” Sit down and shut the fuck up. Is blowing up those of other faiths something Jesus would do? I mean, are you hiding a tat of Jesus holding a couple uzis, rat-tat-tatting away at the Jewish and Roman establishment from the cross? Because I am pretty sure JC said something like “LOVE THY NEIGHBOR,” you asshole. And If I’m trying to decide which turd is worst, you or Trump, then you know you suck.

Then there’s Mike (Up C)Huckabee, who says LGBT Marriage isn’t a civil right.” 

I guess interracial marriage isn’t, either. But it was still granted, people still marry those they care for; but I’m guessing empathy isn’t your strong suit, Mr. Huckabee. Maybe you had issues showing kindness and compassion to others.


I mean, the son he raised killed a dog (reportedly via hanging, stoning, and cutting the poor beast’s throat) while at a boy scout camp. If it were a ‘mercy killing’ of a sick animal, would the scouts have kicked him out, as they did?

Here’s a funny thing, in the Bible, your glorious Word of God, there is a book. The Book of Ruth, where the word used to describe how Ruth felt about Naomi was the same used for how Adam felt about Eve; they clung [dubaq] to each other. From this article comes this quote:

“The Holy Spirit answers that question definitively in Ruth 1:14. There the Scriptures say — without apology, embarrassment, or qualification — that Ruth felt the same way toward Naomi as spouses are supposed to feel toward each other. Far from being condemned, Ruth’s feelings are celebrated.”

But the really good stuff is in Ruth 1:16:

16But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.17“Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus may the LORD do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me.”…

Oh my, that gave me tingles, all Anais Nin style.

Can also be noted that in the bible there are many references to Eunuchs; those are guys who won’t/can’t get laid– just to clarify.  Jesus names the three types in Matthew 19:11-12:

  1. Eunuchs so born from their mother’s womb. These eunuchs, according to Jesus, were born that way. They did not make a personal choice to be eunuchs and they were not physically castrated by men. Some Christians believe these men were homosexual eunuchs.
  2. Eunuchs made so by men via physical castration. These eunuchs were physically castrated and could not consummate marriage.
  3. Eunuchs who made a personal choice to be eunuchs, by abstaining from marriage, for the kingdom of heaven.     Jesus distinguishes the third class of eunuchs, who made a choice to be eunuchs, from the first class, who did not make a choice to be eunuchs.

But more importantly, in my humble opinion, is the simple fact that so-called Christians fail utterly to follow the words spoken by their Savior, the same man who lends them the “Christ” in their religion. See my rant about Ted Cruz above for a refresher.

Jesus was a Jew, so pissed off at the establishment that he went on a table-flipping spree and decided to use a well-known prophecy to push his agenda. What we do know of Jesus comes from a few sources: There’s the Bible; a collection of books assembled at the Council of Nicea as a way to keep the budding faith uniform across the board, about 300 years after the Crucifixion. And there’s the Roman historian Josephus, who wrote of Jesus about 70 years after the Crucifixion. So, basically everything we know comes from the New Testament– and Social Justice Warrior Jesus hung out with whores (but there’s no word about him telling them to keep their legs shut or shun them for aborting [because getting pregnant can kill a prostitute’s career] … and there is mention of bitter gall in the OT, specifically mentioned as a means to induce abortion. Jesus hung out with whores. You know what stymies the career of a prostitute? Kids. Did Jesus ever lecture on abortion? NO.

He did advocate not to treat people like shit, though.

did i stutter


But to even the odds, there’s the whole gun control issue that seems to get side swept with the notion that it’s only the mentally ill that shoot innocents in these sprees.

Gents. Let’s look at some facts and I’ll offer a solution.

FACT: It’s not difficult to acquire firearms in the USA.
FACT: Most shootings are perpetrated by men, aged 18-35
FACT: Cars are dangerous and there are checks in play to keep them out of unready hands. There are no such precautions for guns. You know, those things designed to blow holes into targets, animals, and people.


First off, like a car, anyone who wishes to use a gun should have a license to do so. A license gained after sufficient education and hands-on experience under the supervision of a professional (such as law enforcement); such education will entail ALL of the following: -safety, -maintenance, -importance of gun safes and trigger locks, -proper use, -100 hours at a gun range. And Insurance. Like a car, a gun should be insured against the potential damage it can wield. You want an assault rifle and 30 round capacity clip? Pay extra, as if it were a high performance race car.

Is that to say every gun owner is an accident waiting to happen? Not exactly. But it’s better to be safe than sorry.

I grew up in a hunting family. I took hunter’s safety when I was 12. Grew up with guns and was taught to never point a gun at anything I wasn’t planning on cleaning and eating.Never lose respect of the gun’s power. It’s not a toy. Don’t waste ammo.

When Joe Schmo buys his first gun, he should be treated like he’s buying a car. There is nothing preventing Joe from buying his gun, provided he’s willing to educate himself properly first.

The Second Amendment was written in an age that lacked automatic guns and high capacity clips. Yes, we’re allowed to bear arms for militia purposes. And that indicates training of some sort. I feel that if people really, truly want to own something with the power to blow a fucking hole in not just a paper target or clay skeet, but walls and flesh. Guns have one purpose: to fire projectiles with intent to damage. This cannot be overlooked.

I’m not saying people need to surrender their guns or that they should be unavailable to purchase. But when gun deaths rival automobile deaths, what (other than the NRA) is preventing people from taking action and addressing a much-needed concern.


So, conservative hopefuls, if you really want to demonstrate that you’re not seeking office just to line your pockets, please show me something other than hate, bigotry, assumption and greed.

Good luck with that– I know I’m not holding my breath.



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